


Ignorance

by GoodbyeBlueMonday



Series: Reflections [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drabble, F/F, F/M, Introspection, Manga Spoilers, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 12:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2546984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoodbyeBlueMonday/pseuds/GoodbyeBlueMonday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is so, so much Eren doesn't know.</p><p>Hints at Chapter 62 spoilers, explicit spoilers through the Castle Utgard arc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ignorance

Eren rambles on, in the dark room where the two of them sit. He's the sort of animal to rebel against his chains, rattle them, rattle the cage doors. Historia has been in too many cages in her life to do that. Her own name was a cage, until recently. Just concealing her from the outside world.

Eren is a fool. He thinks he's lived a lifetime because he's seen so many things, but he's still so childish, so naïve. Historia could play that role once, but she was never that.

There's so much Eren doesn't know.

He doesn't know the truth of what he's done, what he is. What his father's done, what his sin is. He doesn't know where his father is, how that made him who he is today. How all of them who betrayed them--Annie, Reiner, Bertolt, and (Historia realizes with a quiet gasp, that of course Eren doesn't notice) Ymir--had to do the same thing to become who they are now.

He's clueless. Historia wonders how he'll react when he learns the truth.

There are other things he doesn't know, too. Other things, that might actually make him the _less_ tortured one here, as Historia bears her burden of separation in silence, while the one Eren loves is just on the other side of the door.

But he doesn't  _know_ what that love is. He doesn't  _know_ what it is to know that the person you've yearned for so long yearns back, to be held, to be kissed and touched and caressed... He doesn't know the way it burns you up inside when you see them and want them but don't know what they're thinking, and how the fire flares harsher when they tell you and it's the same. He doesn't know what it is to  _feel_ that, the  _whole life_ behind that, to orient yourself around it and orbit it like planet and then have it suddenly yanked away, out of reach and where suddenly only your memories and fantasies tether you together.

He  _should_ know. He really should.

Historia has seen the way Mikasa looks at him, and the way he, occasionally--but obliviously--looks back. They've all seen how every time she rebuffs Jean's advances, her eyes turn Eren-wards, and only the two boys in question are none the wiser.

Everyone has seen the way the two dark-haired Shiganshima children look, eyes wild and searching, when they rush to protect each other. Eren doesn't pin his whole body and spirit on Mikasa's lifeline like she does with him, but the desperation, the fear, the madness. is still there.

Mikasa probably knows, but she wouldn't be the sort to tell him.

Eren, Historia is certain, really doesn't know. He's so clueless. He's a silly, stupid, clueless boy. Courageous, indomitable, admirable...but stupid, stupid,  _stupid_.

There's so much Eren doesn't know, and Historia wonders if, sometime in these long, lonely, dark hours, of just them alone in the room while the officers discuss how to move them around like pawns, she should tell him.

But one day...one day Eren will know.

And Historia knows that today can't be that day.

So she waits, and she dreams, and when she falls fully asleep she might even smile, like Eren does when she can tell he's thinking of his own wild, spirited, dark-haired girl, who loves him as fully and madly as Historia does Ymir.

One day, he'll know what that means. And everything else.


End file.
